The F*ckin' Newsletter 5.19.24

Welcome to The F*ckin’ Newsletter. I’m your host Kellerman, and a lot of sh*t happened this week…

Normally this would be at the bottom of the newsletter, but I’m going to throw in an alternate take from Thursday’s opening segment right up top so that the people who don’t pay for this can see it. I ended up changing the video background and re-filming this because I didn’t like the random people being interviewed popping up behind me… and at the end, even though it timed perfectly with my look, I didn’t like that my computer pinged during the video.

WEEKLY RECAP

What a week! Canada, Georgia, Indonesia, Gaza, Mumbai, Washington D.C., Dublin, New York City, Slovakia, Texas, The U.K., Peru, Russia, China, France and the Pacific Island of New Caledonia all made The F*ckin’ News this week with a number of stories that were extremely complex and/or just plain confusing!

MONDAY, MAY 13 (Click here to watch on TikTok)

On Monday I reported on the fires burning across Canada, protests in Georgia, Deadly floods in Indonesia, and the U.N. revising their Gaza death toll demographic numbers.

NOTES/UPDATES: 

• The Wildfires in Canada continued burning, getting dangerously close to Fort McMurray, one of Canada’s largest oil-producing areas, forcing thousands more to evacuate. Officials are hopeful that changing wind patterns and some rainfall will help firefighters keep the fires away.

• A number of people in my comments think that the wildfires were set on purpose so I looked into that possibility a bit and found a few conspiracy theories about the government starting fires to push climate change agendas (though one of the most public people to accuse the Canadian government of this later pleaded guilty to setting 14 of the fires himself) but whether it’s the government or not, arson does seem to be at least one contributing cause of these fires… along with a dry winter and large forestland.

• Georgia erupted into NEW protests later in the week after the controversial ‘foreign agents’ bill was passed… but by the end of the week, their president vetoed the bill.

• A lot of people thought it was funny that I clarified this being Georgia the country and not Georgia the U.S. state… but they’re spelled the same way and a majority of my followers are in the U.S. (Would love to increase the world wide presence though, so share the show with your friends!)

• In Indonesia, the death toll from the massive floods has risen to 67, with 20 still missing and residents trapped in West Sumatra. To make matters worse, a volcano in the region is spewing ash and cold lava.

• I was surprised by how few comments there were about cloud seeding conspiracies related to this, since they usually pop up on flood reports.

• And oh boy the U.N. revising their Gaza numbers… Shortly after I uploaded this report, new reports popped up saying that the U.N. had not revised the numbers! That the news had just a small bit of truth, and had been propagated by Pro-Israel outlets who aim to lower the death toll to sway popular opinion. However… when the smoke cleared from all of this, it turned out my report was still pretty accurate. The numbers had been revised, but only because they separated the VERIFIED numbers from the EXPECTED numbers. But I had not made that clear (because it wasn’t part of any of the reports I saw before filming) so I knew it was important to make that clarification in the next episode. (Which I did.)

 KELLERMAN’S FAVORITE COMMENTS:

TUESDAY, MAY 14 (Click here to watch on TikTok)

On Tuesday, a billboard collapsed in Mumbai, killing and injuring people. Riots broke out on the Pacific Island of Caledonia. A manhunt was on for an escaped prisoner in France. And the livestream portal in NYC and Dublin was shut down for lewd conduct. I also clarified the Gaza death toll numbers news from the previous episode.

NOTES/UPDATES: 

• The video I played of the billboard collapse did not do a good job of showing its size so I got a lot of comments from people wondering how this killed and injured so many people. It was a 120 foot x 120 foot billboard. It was massive. And apparently it did not adhere to structural safety guidelines. So after its collapse, the owner of the advertising company fled the city… and after a manhunt spanning three states, he was apprehended. But the event has also called the regulatory oversight of advertising installations into question.

• I started the Pacific Island of Caledonia news by saying “in France…” — because the island is a French Colony, but it’s been made clear to me that this was technically an inaccurate statement that I made because I’m a dumb American.

• The riots continued through the week, claiming the lives of 6 so far, and forcing the French government to send in military forces. Obviously if there are major developments, I’ll report it.

• I just noticed that Mohamed Amra is spelled wrong in the auto-generated captions for his story. Dammit. Anyways, the video of his escape is CRAZY but I couldn’t show it because every video of it is flagged for graphic content. It was straight out of a movie though. They crashed into the police van, opened fire on the guards, set fire to their own vehicle and ran away with ‘The Fly’ (which is the perfect nickname for an escaped criminal)! You can watch here if you’d like: https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-europe-69016160

• He still has not been caught and Interpol has issued a Red Notice for his arrest.

• I’ve seen a few posts of the video portal between NYC and Dublin claiming that it was shut down because of a specific Only Fans model who flashed the screen in NYC. But there was a lot more than that happening on that screen. People in Dublin were putting up pictures of 9/11 and all kinds of heinous signs and imagery. The sexuality was only part of the problem.

• They plan to open the portal back up after some security measures are put in place (but I don’t really know how they can monitor or prevent people from showing things to the screen, so we’ll see)!

 KELLERMAN’S FAVORITE COMMENTS:

This is SO funny. They likely saw this commercial I acted in:

WEDNESDAY, MAY 15 (Click here to watch on TikTok)

On Wednesday, there was an assassination attempt on Slovakia’s Prime Minister Robert Fico. A barge crashed into a bridge in Galveston Texas. Antony Blinken announced the US would be sending another $2B in aid to Ukraine, and the Biden administration announced its plans to send another $1B in weapons to Israel.

NOTES/UPDATES: 

• Apparently I said Robert Fico’s name wrong. I watched a few other newscasters say it before filming, but I guess I still chose wrong.

• He is still in serious condition, and police have a suspect in custody.