The F*ckin' Newsletter 5.26.2024

Welcome to The F*ckin’ Newsletter. I’m your host Kellerman, and a lot of sh*t happened this week…

WEEKLY RECAP

Wow! It felt like a lot of news happened this week. More than usual. There were a number of things I wasn’t able to cover. Most notably, Donald Trump’s court case. And I only say that’s the most notable exclusion because it is being HEAVILY covered daily in the United States. I just think the verdict will be more important than the daily shenanigans so the larger world-wide disasters took precedence.

MONDAY, MAY 20 (Click here to watch on TikTok)

On Monday I reported on a robbery in Paris, the deaths of the Iranian President and Foreign Minister, an Israeli Airstrike, and the ICC issuing arrest warrants for Hamas and Israeli officials.

NOTES/UPDATES: 

• I can’t find any updates on the thieves who stole millions of dollars worth of jewelry from the Harry Winston boutique in Paris… so I believe they still haven’t been apprehended.

• There were lots conspiracy theories surrounding the Iranian President’s helicopter crash, including the ever-present and always-hilarious Jewish space laser theory… but surprisingly few of those in my comment section.

• Most people who commented on the Iran section of this episode answered my question directed at Iranian people asking if they were happy about this. And I asked that question because I had been DM’d the day before by an Iranian person who said I should report that everyone was happy about this. Of course, I have no way of verifying whether or not everyone in Iran is happy about this, so it wasn’t part of the report, but I did want to make it part of the discussion. Naturally, there were people who said they were happy about it AND people who said they were not happy about it, and both claimed the other had some kind of hidden agenda or false reasoning for their opinions.

• Part of this segment had to be cut for time… here’s the cut clip:

• As for the ICC arrest warrants, I fear I may not have made it clear in my video that they had been REQUESTED and not actually enacted. But even if they are, arrests are unlikely due to the fact that the ICC isn't recognized by most major powers and lacks enforcement abilities.

 KELLERMAN’S FAVORITE COMMENTS:

I f*cking loved this exchange. Sharing information with open discourse is what it’s all about!

TUESDAY, MAY 21 (Click here to watch on TikTok)

On Tuesday I reported airplane turbulence that killed someone and injured almost everyone else on the flight, the UN suspending food distribution in Rafah, clarification on the ceasefire agreement that fell apart in the weeks prior, and a coup attempt that was thwarted in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Earlier in the day, I released an advertisement for Liquid Death’s new jet giveaway under the banner of a “Special F*ckin’ Report”.

NOTES/UPDATES: 

• Of the 70 people injured in the plane turbulence incident, 43 remain in the hospital. Of those, 22 had spinal cord injuries, and 6 had brain/skull injuries.

• I had a lot of people criticize the report because I mentioned that the plane manufacturer was Boeing which has nothing to do with air pockets that cause turbulence. And, as I did say in the report, it may not have anything to do with this incident. But I wasn’t sure if it could have. I don’t know enough about planes to know if they all react exactly the same way no matter how they’re built… but I thought perhaps the craftsmanship of the plane would have some impact on how it handles in the air. Boeing having been in the news quite a bit lately for shoddy craftsmanship… it seemed worth mentioning at least.

• I got a lot of comments about the Congo news from people who believe the US government was behind (or at least apart of) the coup that attempted an assassination on a government official before being apprehended… And though this has actually happened in the past, I can’t find any evidence of that being the case this time around, other than the fact that some of the people arrested reportedly had US citizenship, including one of the leaders who had been a former Congolese Military Captain. There were also members with a few different citizenships, so I don’t know if that’s enough to convince me. Making matters more confusing is the American who’s name popped up in reports about this… who then came out and said he wasn’t involved in any of this at all.

• As for the Liquid Death spot… I had joked a week or two ago about looking for a drink company to “fill my mug” with something other than The F*ckin’ News Coffee (which you can buy here!) - and though I won’t let anyone sponsor or pay for The F*ckin’ News itself, I would be able to make more of this content if it actually generates an income. So, I reached out to Liquid Death hoping for some kind of partnership, and they came back to me with this BANANAS giveaway they were about to launch. Giving away a jet is, in my opinion, both hilarious and totally insane. (And they assured me they were actually going to give away the jet, though people in my comments are skeptical.) Anyways, I turned that video around SUPER quick and am quite proud of it.

• For some reason I was getting tripped up after saying the name of the jet (an Aero L-39) — here’s an outtake:

• There were a lot of comments about the company’s marketing and its use of witchcraft and demonic imagery… and I had honestly never considered anyone taking that stuff seriously, but people do! And that’s fine. They can choose what brands they want to support. I just hope they don’t hold it against me! My favorite thing about my audience is its diversity of thought.

KELLERMAN’S FAVORITE COMMENTS:

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 (Click here to watch on TikTok)

Wednesday was a weird day. Some of the news can be interpreted as either good or bad, and some of it was just out of the ordinary. I reported on Ireland, Norway, and Spain planning to recognize the Palestinian State. Joe Biden canceling another $7.7B of student debt. A riot in Florida. And a suspicious package found at the RNC.

NOTES/UPDATES: